By Gina Sendef
At a very young age, most of us are taught that lying is bad and telling the truth is good. As kids, if we were caught lying, we most likely got in trouble, were maybe even punished, as a means to teach us the consequences of dishonestly. As adults, we strive and try to live in a mostly honest way, or at least we think we do.
The truth is, we are dishonest almost daily in ways we may not realize. Most of us try not to lie about "big" or "important" things, because we understand the consequences, so to speak. But in terms of energy, the size of or kind of lie really doesn't matter; the energy of dishonesty is always the same and it is very low in vibration. Since like energy attracts like energy (Law of Attraction), being untruthful in any way is a magnet for negativity and chaos.
The kinds of lies we dilute ourselves into living with may not seem like dishonesty; but the energy is the same. Becoming aware of our dishonest thoughts, actions and patterns can truly change our lives in very positive ways. Living inauthentically can be extremely stressful and attract toxic energy in ways you may not even realize; including health issues, relationship problems, financial burdens and much more. Negative energy creates blocks to abundance and makes the path to manifesting your dreams unnecessarily difficult. It's time to step into the light and live in a much more authentic way.
Here's 5 ways to stop living with lies and become more authentic:
1. Stop saying YES when your really mean NO: if you truly do not want to do something, then do not do it. Saying yes solely out of obligation or fear of consequences is inauthentic. When you actually do not want to do something or be somewhere, but you agreed to it any way, the energy you bring is low vibrating because it's inauthentic. You are giving the worst of yourself to others. If you are fearful of saying no, don't agree to a request immediately and give yourself time to see if you truly want to say yes or say no. If guilt or fear are primarily driving your decision to say yes, that's a sign you don't wholeheartedly want to commit. While it's wonderful to want to help others, doing so mostly out of guilt or obligation, instead of pure desire, is inauthentic; and that energy helps no one.
2. Stop engaging in relationships that make you unhappy: Too often people engage in relationships that don't make them happy, often making them sincerely miserable; but they keep their true feelings to themselves in an effort to be "nice" or avoid conflict. Nobody knows they are unhappy, in fact others are led to believe the opposite because their actions are telling the opposite story. This type of misrepresentation is the far from kind. Misleading people by continually participating in a relationship you truly do not want is lying. If there are relationships you complain about on a regular basis, people you dread speaking to or being around, then it's time to make an honest change. Perhaps there are specific things that can change about a relationship that would make you happy; try to lovingly communicate your feelings. If a relationship is draining you, take a break and asses if it is is really for your highest good to continue with it. If you must stay connected to someone you are in a toxic relationship with, try spending less time with the person to see if having space helps. No matter what you decide, once you align your actions with your true feelings you begin to live more authentically, free yourself from stress and raise your vibration.
3. Stop working at a job you hate: If you constantly complain about your job, dread going to work and fantasize about leaving your job; it's a sign you don't truly want to have that job. Too often, we commit to and/or work at jobs we don't want out of fear; fear that we can't find a different job, fear we won't be able to pay bills, fear we don't deserve better, fear we won't find what we want, fear we don't know what we want. This creates tremendous stress from denying your feelings, dwelling in anger, and being false with your employer. You are not a powerless victim doomed to be chained to your job for a lifetime of servitude. Like everything in life, you have choices; you simply need to believe this simple fact. Start by admitting the truth to yourself and owning it. Next, focus on gratitude for your current job; even if it is simply that it pays the bills, gratitude lightens the load. Begin to visualize the kind of job that would make you happy, and if you don't know what that is, pray for guidance. Your interests are clues to where your talents lie; finding a job that aligns with them leads to joy and joy attracts abundance. You are absolutely worthy of this leap of faith. Not taking the chance and continuing to stay at a job you absolutely and honestly dislike is a recipe for disaster; the stress will negatively affect your health, your relationships, your finances and your life.
4. Stop acting like someone you are not: We are influenced by people every day. From those we spend time with on a regular basis to the entertainment we select; it all has an affect. These influences can affect our behavior, often leading us to act in ways that do not align with our true nature. In our younger years this influence is considered "peer pressure"; as we grow older, it's really about our own self-worth and desire to live authentically. Living authentically means we are true to ourselves on all levels; striving to avoid denying our feelings, our boundaries and our intuition or instincts. When we make choices that are in the opposite direction of our authentic self, we begin to behave like someone we are not. We might engage in activities we don't really like, or spend time with people we do not want to be with or take part in destructive habits. Having a vision of the kind of person you want to be is vital for your well-being. It helps you create healthy boundaries for all areas of your life. Learning to stay aligned with those boundaries will guide you to living more authentically and creating the life you desire. This is a spiritual practice for living in a more authentic way.
5: Stop lying to yourself: The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. They can range from negative self-talk to muting our intuitive feelings. Denial is a lie. You cannot be fully honest with other people unless you are fully honest with yourself; the truth lies within. Facing, admitting, accepting and owning your true feelings about everything is vital to an authentic existence. If you deny or avoid your feelings, you cannot live in accordance with them; you cannot be wholly authentic. Without ownership of your true feelings, you lower your vibration and disconnect from your intuition; you cannot trust or follow instincts you won't accept. Trusting yourself is the highest form of self-love, it ignites abundance and skyrockets your vibration. When you give yourself trust, you will refuse to lower yourself to the energy of lies. Authentic living only comes from a strong sense of self; strong enough for the truth and loving enough to accept it no matter what.
Living in the light of honesty is a lofty goal, but it is an absolutely essential one. This isn't simply about not telling lies. This is about living in accordance with our true feelings in every area of our lives. It is about setting healthy boundaries and loving ourselves enough not to allow them to be broken. It is about loving and honest communication. It is about acceptance of our feelings and instincts. It is about you; and it is about time to rise above the depths of an inauthentic life and step into the authentically wonderful life you deserve to create.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gina Sendef is an independent Spiritual Self-Help Author, Reiki Master Teacher and Angel Intuitive. Writing is her life long passion. Her first book, Truth Works: Divine Life Lessons for Kids of All Ages, is a self-help book geared towards older children, teens and young adults. The premise for Truth Works is to undo harmful affects that exist when our children are taught traditional life lessons like "life is not fair" or "money is the root of all evil". The goal of the book is to undo this negative programming at a young age, ensuring the subconscious belief system for our children is optimistic, safe and secure. She also created Angel Works as a means to provide energy healing and mentoring and to work with the positive and loving energy of the angels to offer guidance. Through Angel Reiki and Angel Readings, Gina gives people divine counsel and healing that will improve their health, uncover their life's purpose, enrich their relationships and enhance their lives.