By Lauren Jawno, Elite High Performance Coach
How would you like to get along with people more easily, understand their perspectives better and be more patient and supportive and with much less stress?
Understanding yourself better...understanding what drives your behaviors and your needs will help you live from a place of knowing, helping you make more informed decisions in your daily life.
Studying different personality types and how they best operate in the world, I recognize the different needs, joys, strengths and values people have so that I can connect better with them through my words and actions and achieve better results in all my relationships.
You, too, can start doing this today!
This process of identifying your personality profile is NOT about boxing you into a stereotype but rather enabling you to gain greater insight and understanding about yourself and others. It’s about having more clarity about your personal behaviors and habits, as well as being able to recognize the needs and patterns of others by identifying their primary personality so that we can all achieve a better level of communication and connection.
So what are the 4 ‘ways’ and how do you identify your primary way?
The 4 ‘ways’ are Action, Organized, Relationship and Logical.
To identify your PRIMARY way, read the following 4 statements and select the ONE statement that best describes you (most of the time and in most situations)
Adventure, challenge, competition, change and freedom are essential in my life. I am spontaneous and decisive. I take initiative. I abhor restrictions, rules and waiting.
I am a well-organized individual who needs to be prepared. I am dependable, reliable and thorough. I have a strong sense of right and wrong. I need closure.
Relationships are my highest priority. I am able to communicate and relate effectively in most contexts. I enjoy getting people to work together. I work well with and through people. I am enthusiastic.
I am a logical and rational individual who values information and knowledge. I value the opportunity to analyze and explore all facets before making a decision. I enjoy solving problems.
Which statement did you most resonate with?
If you chose Statement 1, your primary way is most likely the Action Way, Statement 2 would be the Organized Way, Statement 3 the Relationship Way and Statement 4 is the Logical Way.
Whichever you chose, that is most likely your primary way. Note however that when you do your entire profile you will see that your second way may also be a dominant part of your personality and you may even have two ways that are equally weighted, meaning you are equally comfortable living out of both of those ways.
For now, let’s look at some of the traits of the 4 different ways and how you can apply this information to your life?
My primary way is the Organized Way, Statement 2. So I generally feel my best when I have order and structure in my life, when I am well prepared and things are clean and tidy. Lists are vital to me and I need closure. How many of you resonate with this?
So let’s look at how I would accommodate each of the other ways if I was to say meet them for dinner. This example will give you a glimpse into some of the needs and behaviors of the other ways.
If I were to have dinner with someone whose primary way is Action (Statement 1) I would tell them that dinner is half and hour earlier than it actually is because there is a good chance they will be late as they would probably be out somewhere else having loads of fun and unaware of the time. I generally arrive right on time. As you can tell, this is not a good combination. But by knowing this about both of us I can avoid any tension as now we’ll most likely arrive at the same time. I would also pick a restaurant that has a casual, relaxed atmosphere and dress code. This is where someone with Action as their primary way would feel most comfortable.
If I were to have dinner with someone whose primary way is Relationship (Statement 3), when it came time to order dinner, I would make sure to order first because I know they want to see what I’m having before they order. They tend to be people pleasers and never want to rock the boat by for example ordering something more expensive, or ordering an entrée if I was just ordering an appetizer. This would make them very uncomfortable. By me ordering first, they will be more relaxed about making their choice and I won’t be frustrated at their apparent indecision because they are waiting for me to make a decision first. A win-win for both of us.
If I were having dinner with someone whose primary way is Logical (Statement 4) then I would brace myself for them having plenty of questions for the server about the specials, food preparation, prices etc. They need information, details and data so dinner would be no exception. Anticipating and knowing this will reduce my level of frustration at the number of questions they will have. I would also pick a quieter more formal restaurant, as they would feel more comfortable in that type of environment.
The above is a simple example of how knowing what someone’s primary way and personality type is can lend itself to less friction, frustration, disappointment and even hurt feelings and better communication and understanding in all relationships. If you recognize some of these different patterns in others, it should help explain some of their behaviors and habits. Know that their behaviors are as natural to them as yours are to you and that they are not deliberately trying to annoy or frustrate you. Once I really understood all of this and starting applying it in my life, the impact on my relationships improved dramatically.
So what is your primary way? Post it below and share what you feel some of your signature behaviors or habits are.
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ABOUT THE COACH...
Lauren Jawno is one of less than 170 elite internationally Certified High Performance Coaches™ in the world.
She's built a thriving practice around living a whole and high performance life – based on relevant, cutting-edge research and information. I love to coach my clients to success, to achieve the life they truly want, through programs which not only match their goals and personalities but also educate and empower them to reach their highest potential, to be high performers.
A highly sought after keynote speaker for hundreds of public and private events across North America and the UK, Lauren is also the author of Change4Good - The Ten Essentials for Food, Fitness and the Good Life.