By: Steven Aitchison
In the quest for eternal happiness we are often blind to the things that take it away from us or prevent us from having it. We get so caught up in our own lives and the people and things around us that we simply lose ourselves. By the end of the day, we realize that there were one too many things that zapped our happy gene today.
How did we let this happen, yet again? You already know what the triggers are yet you keep pulling them. The sooner you drop them, the sooner you will regain and reclaim your happiness, and keep it.
I get that some things can’t be avoided, like family functions that you are required to attend, even though you dislike half your family. In those situations, you really just need to make the most out of it and hang with the people you really like. That’s not really a habit but more of a situational happy killer. It can still be handled well in order to keep smiling.
So what about the habits you are engaging in that a re just wrong and need to be dropped immediately? Here are 10 of them that should be dumped.
It’s so pointless really and it just causes a lot of grief and pain. Try to talk things out if you can. If that’s not always possible, then walk a way. Leave the argument and go back to discuss the situation when all tempers have cooled and emotions are running off the charts. Too often in the course of a heated argument we say things we don’t mean and it’s those words that linger on after the argument is over. Those are the hurtful words that haunt us and strip us our happiness.
2. Trying to be perfect.
Please don’t do that. Perfection is overrated and is probably a leading cause of stress. Not everything has to be perfect all the time. Try to enjoy even the smallest accomplishment and take pride in what you have done . No one is keeping score except for you. Why are you competing against yourself? It makes no sense.
3. Hanging on to abusive people.
By this I mean verbally and or emotionally. They a re mean to you, plain and simple. They don’t deserve your time and they certainly don’t deserve to have power over your happiness. Shut them down or drop them immediately. You need to get these people out of your life immediately. If that’s not possible, stay away from them or stand up to them. Let them know you won’t tolerate their hate words any longer.
4. Holding on to hurt.
The pain from yesterday. The person or people that hurt you. Going back over everything and wondering if you could have done things differently. You wonder if you should have said something else. You wonder if they possibly could change. Can they love you again or try again. Stop. Just stop. It’s done. Let it be. What happened, happened for a reason. Learn from it and move on. You’re robbing yourself of today’s happiness. Don’t do that.
We worry about today, what’s going to happen tomorrow, even what happened yesterday. There are things that are simply out of our control. Worrying about them isn’t going to make anything better or solve any problems. You can try to rationalize the situation and see if there is a positive outcome but don’t waste any more time worrying about it. It just isn’t going to do you any good. To not worry is easier said tha n done. Retrain your brain. Make it stop immediately as soon as it starts. With practice, yo u’ll have this mastered.
6. Everything is just so hard.
It’s time to drop that mindset. Maybe things aren’t the best or easiest right now but the more you focus on how hard everything is, well, the harder things will get. Try to find some good in your life and focus on the positive things instead of the difficult things. Stressing over them isn’t going to make them get any easier or make them go away. All it will do is make them larger than they are. Think about the great things in your life. Like, life itself.
So many people forget that we are here to be happy, not suffer and be miserable. Don’t get caught up in other people’s drama, forget the shitty things that have happened to you and just be grateful you are here and alive. Remember, happiness is an inside job but you should be nurturing it too.
Steven Aitchison is a personal development writer and creator of personal development products | 99PositiveAffirmations |Mind Alchemy. He is also a Facebook Engagement expert and teaches others how to grow their Facebook pages, which he has done from 35,000 likes to nearly 2 million likes. Check out his program here.