You suffered greatly at the hands of your narcissist partner, but now you have broken free from their clutches to regain control of your life. It may take you some time to put all the pieces back together and, yes, the road will inevitably be bumpy at times.
Despite this, if you can look past all the bad times and find some crumbs of good in the whole episode, you might one day be able to look back on this moment as one when you grew into yourself like never before.
There are many upsides that you might take from your past relationship, and by focusing on these, you will not only be able to hasten your recovery, you will be better prepared to face life and any future romantic entanglements.
Here are just 7 such positives you might want to consider:
1. YOU WILL BELIEVE IN YOUR SURVIVAL ABILITIES
Suffering through a relationship with a narcissist and then having the courage to break the bonds and leave; this is something that only a strong person is capable of. When you finally realize just how much of an achievement it was, you will gain an unbreakable belief in your ability to survive.
You’ve experienced some of the worst possible abuse and come out the other side still standing; what could you possibly fear after that?
2. YOU WILL RELISH EVERY LITTLE MOMENT OF BLISS AND BEAUTY
Having been emotionally imprisoned for a period of time, you will see the world with a renewed focus. No longer will you let those fleeting flashes of bliss and ephemeral ecstasies pass by unappreciated.
Instead, you will grasp every single moment and squeeze each drop of joy out of it. You will notice the cool breeze on a hot summer’s day, the melodies of birds as they sing to one another, and the sound of laughter as it echoes through the corridors of life.
Never again will you pass up the opportunity to embrace life’s little pleasures.
3. YOU WILL GROW MORE COMPASSIONATE
Having known emotional pain on a grand scale, you will find that you feel even deeper levels of compassion than before. You will be able to relate to other people’s suffering so intimately, and this gift will allow you to help heal those who are hurting.
You will become a beacon of love, and your caring nature will flow out and touch the lives of many people.
4. YOU WILL LEARN WHERE TO SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
As you slowly begin to unravel the mystery that was your narcissistic relationship, you will identify how you became so easily embroiled with your former partner. This will help you to set boundaries for future relationships – romantic or otherwise – so that nobody is ever able to take advantage of your caring nature again.
You will be well versed in the early warning signs of abuse – especially the language a narcissist employs to gain control – and you’ll be alert to anyone attempting to breach the protective perimeter you create.
5. YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN TAKE FRIENDS AND FAMILY FOR GRANTED
As you slipped further under the manipulative spell of your narcissist partner, you probably found that your relationships with friends and family members became more distant. Now that you have freed yourself, you will never let that happen again.
You have gained a clear sense of what matters in life, and the love of those close to you is top of that list. You no longer value material possessions quite so much; instead, you focus your energies on making unforgettable memories with the people who mean so much to you.
6. YOU WILL LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
As time passes and your emotional wounds continue to heal, you will reach a point at which you begin to understand some of what you went through. You will realize that, however it may have seemed at the time, you were not to blame for the outcome of your relationship.
Indeed, you did your very best to please your partner, to help them, and to show them love. When you reach this point of clarity, you will naturally begin to forgive yourself for all of the times you felt guilty and for the flaws you saw in yourself.
This forgiveness will not stop at your past relationship; it will remain with you for the rest of your life, growing in strength with each passing day. You will learn to go easy on yourself when things don’t go to plan, knowing that it does not have to mean you were at fault.
7. YOU WILL PRIORITIZE YOUR OWN WELLBEING
Perhaps the most important lesson of all is that, when handing out your love and care to others, you should always put your own name at the top of the list. You may not have felt able to do this in the past, but after your encounter with a narcissist, you will discover that prioritizing your own happiness does not make you a bad person.
The truth is that only when you take the time to love and care for yourself, are you able to love and care for others. It is not selfish, it is necessary.
Sometimes it is when we fall hardest that the biggest transformation occurs. Your experiences at the hands of a narcissist have so many lessons to teach if you open your eyes to them. For a long time, it may feel as though that period of your life was a total disaster, but if you let it, it can be the catalyst for incredible positive change within you.
Steve Waller is the founder of A Conscious Rethink – a website dedicated to helping people deal with mind, body and spirit issues through sound information and advice. If you’ve found this article helpful and would like to learn more about the language narcissists use to manipulate, click this link. You can also enjoy a blend of motivational quotes, uplifting videos, and enlightening articles by liking his Facebook page.