“But it costs too much,” was one of my favorite excuses. Oh my, I used it a ton! Sometimes it was true, more often it wasn’t. It goes right along with its sister phrase: “I can’t afford it,” also a close second for me. If you take the time to look at the truth of it, both phrases have to do with investment and what’s required in order to obtain the desire on the other end of it. At this point you may be thinking, “duh, I know that already,” but I encourage you to stick with me for a minute and see this through. We’re going to get down and dirty – to the root of things.
Here’s the thing—this isn’t limited to material items, lovelies. We unconsciously do this each and every day in our own lives with a variety of things and situations. We get caught up in trade-offs and excuses that can keep us from our greatness. Sometimes we’re seeing too much of the limit instead of the possibility and we go backward into “safe” mode.
Safe mode is not where we move into fulfilling our destiny, though. Safe mode is comfy and doesn’t push us to grow. It’s filled with certainty, it’s “affordable.” There isn’t too much of a calculated risk going on each and every day. It doesn’t require you to stretch and experience new situations that can expand your horizons.
We all have a choice in our investments of time, money or attention. Whatever we invest, for good or for bad will pay dividends. However, if we are constantly playing it safe, unwilling to stretch ourselves just a little bit, we may receive diminishing returns over time, leading us to settle for mediocrity and have a low grade sense of dissatisfaction with our life.
The nature of human beings is to grow, to expand, to want to experience more. Yet, there are traps that we can all fall into—traps set by societal demands, employer demands, spousal demands, demands from our peer group, the list goes on. Instead of going against the grain, which could make waves and feel very unsafe and uncomfortable, we decide to invest in the comfort of security instead of the risk of expansion. It’s important to note, though, there is no reward without risk.
Depending on where our focus goes or what we choose to invest in, we can become our own worst enemy. We can easily stunt our growth. We’ve handed over the leadership to something outside of us—something external and we expect that it will satisfy us, but it doesn’t exactly work that way. We are the leaders of our life. Leading is a lot of responsibility and so is stepping into our power at full tilt. When we step into expanding the range of our personal power that’s where the excuses come in.
The biggest barrier to stepping into our full power, leading with purpose and creating a fulfilling life, comes from our resistance within. We may think it comes from an external limit, but that’s not the case. It comes from getting real with our truth and that can seem scary. It comes from taking the time to examine those words that flow so effortlessly off of our tongues of the “I can’t afford it” variety.
It’s not necessarily that you can’t afford it—you have made a distinctive choice. You chose not to purchase it or partake in it. There is a trade off. Maybe it’s a wise decision. For example, choosing to pay an important cell phone bill over splurging on entertainment or a shopping spree is a good choice, but notice, it wasn’t that you couldn’t afford a night out or a new pair of jeans, you made a good choice to be responsible and pay a bill that would keep your cell phone working so you could stay connected to family, friends and colleagues.
I’ve encountered these situations in my own life over and over again. It’s not always easy either. It wasn’t until I caught myself in the act, hearing those words rolling off my tongue that I stopped to wonder if it was true or false evidence appearing real (F.E.A.R) or some other misconception. Most of the time, it wasn’t as truthful as I thought. It came down to choices. It came down to perception.
How can you be sure it’s truth for you or if you’re standing in your own way? Here are a few ways you can evaluate:
1. Take a step back and observe
Observing can seem like it’s obvious and easy, but in an age where everything is happening at lightening speed, we don’t take the time we should. Slow down. Take a look at the trade off. Meaning, if I choose to purchase this, do this, or engage in this, what will happen? Is this something that is a wise contribution to where I want to go in my life? This is a huge leadership opportunity for you—to understand how this one choice can impact your desired future.
2. Make your decision and stick with it
It may pan out beautifully. It could also totally tank. That’s ok. Understand that you hold the cards. When you were born on this planet, you were given the keys to be the CEO of your life. And sure, you may have been directed at times when you were younger or been influenced, we all have, but as a fully functioning adult, you always have choices. Even choosing not to make a decision is a decision. Be confident in your leadership ability to direct your choices in a way that invests in you, your vision for your life, your loved ones and the greater good.
3. Keep your mindset straight
Fear, lack and negativity are pervasive. They can lead you to believe all kinds of things that are completely untrue. It’s important that you keep your focus on the good things in your life. We all have abundance somewhere. If you had to name five things you were grateful for right now, what would they be? Your health? Your home? Your spouse? Your job? Your friends? Cherish those things completely. Realize that the more you keep your focus on abundance, it will continually expand for you in your life. But if you keep on saying “I can’t afford it,” or “I don’t have… fill in the blank,” you will keep creating more of that in your life. Take a leadership position here too. You are in full control of your thoughts. You can change them at will. Those thoughts that no longer serve you? Kick them out! Replace them with ones that do. Change your thoughts to ones that empower you!
You really do have supreme authority over your life. Will you take those reigns up today and take charge? Sometimes it’s easy to give our power away to people, experiences, situations, but that’s not what you were made for. I believe that all of us in some way have amazing gifts and talents that we were meant to lead with, to share with the world. It may take some time to uncover them and cultivate them, but it’s so worth it. Be the leader of your life and chart a new course today by moving those excuses to the side and stepping powerfully in a new, exciting direction.
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Jessica Nevins is a Transformation Coach for Spirit-Led Women, a Motivational Speaker and Author passionate about transformation, divine life missions, Spiritual gifting and living Spirit-led that uses over a decade of leadership, coaching, personal development, teaching and training paired with her Spiritual gifts and spiritual teachings to illuminate the path to bring visions to life, cultivate transformation, receive true abundance and Spiritual fulfillment for her clients. Please check out Jessica's WEBSITE and connect with her on FACEBOOK