By Maria Flynn
Relationships are a vital part of life and unless you plan on being a recluse, you'll find yourself in multiple types of relationships (familial, professional and romantic). In a healthy relationship, you'll find that overcoming challenge is possible. In fact, healthy relationships often DEEPEN after getting through a struggle together.
It's important to recognize the signs of unhealthy behaviors in a relationship because if you don't, then long-term exposure in an unhealthy environment could lend itself to you accepting that your experience is "normal." You DO deserve healthy and loving relationships and knowing what to look for can help you increase and nurture what's healthy and also limit the time spent with those who you strip you of your energy.
What to look for in unhealthy behaviors:
1. Quick to Make Assumptions
They've already concluded ideas about you and the situation and any time spent trying to convince them otherwise is exhausting and unproductive. You aren't being heard (and you likely never will be). Assumption can quickly turn into arguments.
2. Quick to Make Excuses
They're ready to point a finger at anyone, but as soon as you call them out on their behavior, they'll quickly have a reason why it isn't their fault. Finger pointing, blame and excuses are natural to them.
3. Like to Lecture
They're unable to have a conversation WITH you, it's more like they're talking AT you...telling you what they want and expect but never take you (or your time) into consideration.
4. Fear-Based Decisions
They tend to never trust anyone (including you). So, any decision they make is made with certainty that they won't have to leave their comfort zone, nor risk that their "true colors" will be exposed.
They'll likely never celebrate anyone other than themselves...and they'll put someone else down only so they can appear greater themselves.
They'll lie and twist the truth solely to protect themselves and control any situation without a care for anyone else (including you).
7. Social Isolation
If they're surrounded by healthy and authentic individuals who are comfortable in their own skin, they'll feel frustrated and make any excuse to remove themselves from that environment (and quickly). Instead of living from a place of love and light, they'll feel suffocated by those who do and will find any reason to never have to socialize with them again (and keeping you away from them, too).
8. Lots of Unnecessary Drama
Your day-to-day is unsteady because you never know when they'll bring up the drama (with you or with others). There is an uneasy feeling when they're in the room with you and you feel like you're walking on eggshells fearing what to say next because you don't know what will set them off.
Unhealthy relationships will take a toll on you and your personal health. You'll constantly feel drained around the the people who practice unhealthy behaviors...and that drain can turn into serious health issues. Pay attention to the signs and stop playing their game. You deserve more and the moment you take a stand for what you want you'll stop being such an easy target for their bad behavior.