By: Susan Nicole Wright
I am writing this from my own perception, from my own experience of my soul's journey here on this Earth plane. I hope this can help someone else that may be experiencing something similar.
There was a relationship that I was in. Well, many. They were abusive, but one in particular. Abuse on all levels but physical. But was it really abusive? (I will get back to this soon.)
I was in this relationship, feeling very much alone. This person always seemed angry at everything and everyone, including himself. This person just seemed miserable. I never felt loved by this person. Were there some good times? Yes. But they were minimal.
I lived with this person for many years. I remember laying in bed with tears, more often than not, praying to God to just take this person out of my life. I did not care how. From the simplest way to the worst you can imagine, it no longer mattered to me. I just wanted this person gone and out of my life. I would also pray that God change this person. To make this person see their own behavior and how destructive it was and how it was ruining their life, but mine as well.
I came to a point, prayer after prayer, that I was losing faith in God. An entity that I was raised as a Southern Baptist to always believe in, knowing that He would never let me down. But after no change in the person I was praying for, after no change in the situation, I had given up faith. I was raised to believe that this was the bed I had made and now I was to lay in it, forever.
Well, not so. Not any longer.
One day, I "woke up". I realized that the person I was looking at in him and the relationship I was in was an unresolved healing that needed to take place from my childhood that had never been healed. I was staring my dead father in the face, through this person I had chosen as my mate to be in a relationship with.
I came to realize that the way I had been praying all these years and what I was praying for, was all wrong.
This person I had chosen as my mate - was just my teacher. As were all my previous mates I had chosen. I would still yet, have a few more...
I ask you, in this writing, to put that pointing finger down and away, once and for all. I ask you to accept responsibility in what you chose. Yes, no matter, you chose it. You know the old saying, "When you point one finger, three more are pointing back at you." Nothing could be more true. It is a very painful, large pill, to swallow.
The point of this story, is that I needed the healing. I had "chosen" my teacher and my teacher had "chosen" me. Teacher's will show up in many ways with different faces, until you learn the lesson that will free your soul from all the pain it has endured since birth.
The lesson I needed to learn was to have love for myself. To "know" that I was never unworthy, as so many in my growing life had either had me believe or made me feel. Either by their actions or inactions. Their own inabilities to love or show love.
The family we are born into and everyone we will have a relationship with is our soul family. It was all contracted before birth on Earth. We all made an agreement to be the teacher's and the student's.
After twenty plus years of my father's death, I finally got it. What I needed to learn. And I got it through the relationships I was choosing. I took a look back into my childhood but now with the outlook of an adult, not a hurt child. I took a look at it all, from both sides of my parents, grandparents, etc. I finally understood that my father was simply giving to me all he could, which wasn't much in the form of showing or hearing that he loved me or was ever proud of me. He couldn't give something he didn't have. Simply put.
I finally understand my journey here. My purpose.
Whatever your circumstances, I ask you to look a little deeper into the situation, from all sides, not just yours. There is a clear lesson that your soul was placed here to learn.
We will always have many teacher's and we will have many student's. This, is life. We are here to help one another, no matter how difficult your situation seems–you chose it. Earth is nothing more than life school. When do we graduate? When all lessons are learned. That is when you will return home.
When I "woke up", and realized all of this, is when my prayers changed. I no longer prayed for that other person to change, as it was now their path to worry about and no longer mine. I no longer prayed for ill will against him or anyone. I could only pray for my own change and healing within myself. I prayed for what it was that I needed to fully understand, what my soul was asking of me to understand, for my souls own healing.
This is when I started to see God fully working in my life. He had not let me down after all, I had only let myself down. Call your higher being whatever you wish as everyone's journey here is a personal one. For me, it is God. I can only believe in God if I'm willing to believe in myself, as He does, through eyes of pure love.
Our soul's are placed here in human form to learn something. What is it you need to learn? Only you can answer this. But, the very themes that may repeat themselves in your life may just be a clue. You will know, because it or they, won't feel very good. I pray for your healing as well. Will you?
God, or your higher entity, is always there for you but first you have to be there for yourself.
Our soul's are very hungry, however, each lesson is up to you to take on. When your soul knows and feels it is undeniably loved by you, the lesson's will dissipate.
To imply that you are worthy of love, would have to imply that at some point in your life you were deemed unworthy, and that is simply a lie. Worthiness and love is our birthright. It is something we all just are. You were never unworthy...
Please, stop allowing yourself to condemnation, or that there is a higher power out there that will condemn you. There simply is not. That higher power - GOD - for me, is only the most highest form of love. People condemn people. Don't beLIEve it, when you are condemned by another. You are love, you come from love, keep that love within you, and hold onto it tight.
When you pray, do not pray for someone else to heal or change. They have to do this for themselves, and want it from within. Pray instead for your path, your learning, your healing, your change, and watch the results and miracles come pouring in, from your God.
We are mere lessons into another's soul's journey. So I ask, for what and how do you pray? Do you pray at all?
I ask you from my own personal experience, to hold all of your situations and those people in your situations, from a place of love, as your higher being holds you. Why? Because you chose this. We are given free will to choose whichever path we want to journey along.
Ask yourself how you relate to other's. Is it from a place of pain, or a from a place of love?
I hope that this will help you to approach all of your relationships and how you perceive them, with a new awareness and a new set of eyes.
God bless all of us on this journey that we have chosen individually. It is an amazing journey that I call life! Live it, with no regrets.
Susan Nicole Wright is a Psychic Medium/Spiritual Life Path/Empowerment Coach, as well as Reiki Master Teacher. She has been gifted and in touch with the spirit world since early childhood which has led to her 40+ years of experience. Blessed with this gift from God, allows her to assist others with the process of healing, by connecting them with their friends/loved ones that are on the "Other Side". Susan has read for people from all over the globe, including prominent business people and celebrities!
You can learn more about Susan from her WEBSITE.